What's In A Name? A Relationship Glossary

When reading Latin love poetry, remember that puella means “girlfriend” and not “girl,” and puer means “boyfriend” and not “boy.”  Textual evidence supports that the Romans used these terms to refer to adult partners old enough to engage in romantic activity. [35] Although no author self-identifies as a puer in the nominative case, the term can be used to refer to another man (often a poet’s rival) [36]. Gender neutral terms (amores, delicias) would often be used in the plural, but sometimes in the singular (amanti/em). It is important to note, however, that although the term deliciae was used often with positive connotations (e.g., the Emperor Titus was called amor et deliciae generis humani [37]), the phrases “puer delicatus” and “in deliciis” tend to refer to a slave [38], not a consenting partner.  Regardless of their age, these people were not capable of consent due to their enslaved status. It is important to not joke about or romanticize poems that use these terms, as this damages the dignity of our youth.

The following chart provides a list of vocabulary for married couples:

Feminae (Women)	Communis (Gender Neutral)	Viri (Men)
Nouns: Domina [1] Femina [2] Mulier [3] Uxor [4] Verbs: nubo, -ere [5]	Nouns: Coniunx [6]    Verbs: coniungo, -ere [7]	Nouns: Dominus [8] Maritus [9] Vir [10] Verbs: in matrimonio habeo, -ere [1]] In matrimonio[con]iungo,   -ere [12] uxorem duco, -ere [13]

 

 

 

The following chart provides a list of vocabulary for dating couples:

IF YOU’RE A…
	Feminae (Women)		Communis (Gender Neutral)	Viri (Men)
You Call Yourself A…	Puella [14] Unica [15]		Amans [16]	Amans -17] Amator [18] Iuvenis[19]
You Call Your Partner A…	Femina: Amica [20] Unica [21]	Vir: Amasius[22] Dominus [23] Iuvenis[24] Vir [25]	Amans [26] Amores [27]  Deliciae [28]	Femina: Amica [29]  Domina [30] Mulier [31] Puella [32]	Vir: Amasius [33] Puer [34]

 

 

 

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[1] Catullus, Poem 61.31

[2] Catullus, Poem 61.173

[3] Catullus, Poem 70.1

[4] Catullus, Poem 71.178

[5] Martial, Epigram 9.10.1

[6] Catullus, Poem 61.32

[7] Catullus, Poem 64.373

[8] Catullus, Poem 45.14

[9] Catullus, Poem 61.55

[10] Catullus, Poem 61.3

[11] Cicero, On Behalf of Caecina 10.9

[12] Livy, From the Founding of the City 1.46.5

[13] Martial, Epigram 9.10.2

[14] Sulpicia, Poem 5.1

[15] MGH 8:7, line 5

[16] Ovid, Metamorphoses 4.73

[17] Ovid, Metamorphoses 4.73

[18] Ovid, Loves, 1.4.39

[19] Ausonius, Epigram 40.4

[20] Martial, Epigram 7.70.2

[21] MGH 8:7, line 3

[22] Plautus, Cas.589

[23] Ovid, Loves,3.7.11

[24] CIL 6.37965

[24] Plaut. Casina 146

[26] Catullus, Poem 73.3

[27] Catullus, Poem 10.1

[28] Catullus, Poem 22.2

[29] Catullus, Poem 72.3

[30] Propertius, Elegies1.1.21

[31] Catullus, Poem 71.1

[32] Catullus, Poem 71.1

[33] Jacob Mycellus, Lucian’s Dialogue of the Gods14

[34] Martial, Epigram 4.42.14

[35] cum puero ut bello bella puella cubet, Catullus Poem 78.4; vir reliquis, uni sit puer mihi, Martial Epigram 4.42.14

[36] Horace, Odes 1.5.1

[37] Suetonius, Titus 1

[38] Pliny, Natural History, 7.34