Minerva, Diana, and the Muses: Free of Cupid's Influence, Lucian, Dialogi Deorum XIX

The Roman Author Lucian imagines a conversation between Venus [Aphrodite] and her son Cupid [Eros]:

VENUS: Quid tandem in causa est, Cupido, ut quum reliquos Deos omnes adortus expugnaris, Iovem ipsum, Neptunum, Apollinem, Iunonem, me denique matrem, ab una Minerva temperes, utque adversus hanc nec ullum habeat incendium tua fax, e tiaculis vacua sit pharetra, tum et ipse arcu careas, neque iaculari noris?

CUPIDO: Equidem hanc metuo, mater: est enim formidabilis, truculentoque aspectu, ac ferocitate quadam supra modum virili: proinde siquando tenso arcu petam illam, galeae cristam quatiens expavefacit me, moxque, formidine tremere occipio, sic ut arma mihi e manibus excidant.

VEN: Atqui Mars an non erat hac formidabilior: et hunc tamen superatum exarmasti.

CUP: imo ille cupide me recipit, atque ultro etiam invitat: verum Minerva semper adductis superciliis observat. quin aliquando temere ad illam advolavi, facem propius admovens: at illa, si quidem ad me accesseris, inquit, per parentem Iovem, quovis modo te confecero, aut lancea te transfigat, aut pedibus arreptum in tartara dabo praecipitem, aut ipsa te discerpam. Plurima item id genus cominabatur. Ad haec acribus obtuetur oculis: postremo & in pectore faciem quandam gestat horrendam, viperis capillorum vice comatam. hanc nimirum magnopere formido. territat enim me, fugioque quoties eam aspicio.

VEN: esto sane, Minervam metuis, ut ais, atque huius gestamen Gorgona reformidas, idque quum Iovis ipsius fulmen non formidaveris: caeterum Musae quam ob causam abs te non feriuntur, atque a tuis iaculis tutae agunt?num & hae cristas quatiunt, aut Gorgonas praetendunt?

CUP: has quidem revereor mater: sunt enim vultu pudico ac reverendo: praeterea semper aliquo tenentur studio, semper cantionibus animum intentum gerunt: quin ipse etiam non raro illis assisto, carminis suavitate delinitus.

VEN: esto, nec has adoriris, propterea quod sint reverendae: at Dianam, quo tandem gratia non vulneras?

CUP: Ut breviter dicam, hanc ne deprehendere quidem usquam sum potis, quippe perpetuo per montes fugitantem. ad haec alterius cuiusdam sui Cupidinis illa tenetur cupidine.

VEN: Cuius o gnate?

CUP: Nempe venatu cervorum et hinnulorum, quos insetatur ut capiat, ac iaculo figat. Ac prorsum tota rerum huiusmodi studio tenetur: tametsi fratrem eius, qui nimirum arcu valet et ipse, feritque eminus.

VEN: Teneo gnate, eum saepenumero sagitta vulnerasti.

Ἀφροδίτη

τί δήποτε, ὦ Ἔρως, τοὺς μὲν ἄλλους θεοὺς κατηγωνίσω ἅπαντας, τὸν Δία, τὸν Ποσειδῶ, τὸν Ἀπόλλω, τὴν Ῥέαν, ἐμὲ τὴν μητέρα, μόνης δὲ ἀπέχῃ τῆς Ἀθηνᾶς καὶ ἐπ᾽ ἐκείνης ἄπυρος μέν σοι ἡ δᾴς, κενὴ δὲ οἰστῶν ἡ φαρέτρα, σὺ δὲ ἄτοξος εἶ καὶ ἄστοχος;

Ἔρως

δέδια, ὦ μῆτερ, αὐτήν: φοβερὰ γάρ ἐστι καὶ χαροπὴ καὶ δεινῶς ἀνδρική: ὁπόταν γοῦν ἐντεινάμενος τὸ τόξον ἴω ἐπ᾽ αὐτήν, ἐπισείουσα τὸν λόφον ἐκπλήττει με καὶ ὑπότρομος γίνομαι καὶ ἀπορρεῖ μου τὰ τοξεύματα ἐκ τῶν χειρῶν.

Ἀφροδίτη

ὁ Ἄρης γὰρ οὐ φοβερώτερος ἦν; καὶ ὅμως ἀφώπλισας αὐτὸν καὶ νενίκηκας.

Ἔρως

ἀλλὰ ἐκεῖνος ἑκὼν προσίεταί με καὶ προσκαλεῖται, ἡ Ἀθηνᾶ δὲ ὑφορᾶται ἀεί, καί ποτε ἐγὼ μὲν ἄλλως [p. 99] παρέπτην πλησίον ἔχων τὴν λαμπάδα, ἡ δέ, εἴ μοι πρόσει, φησί, νὴ τὸν πατέρα, τῷ δορατίῳ σε διαπείρασα ἢ τοῦ ποδὸς λαβομένη καὶ ἐς τὸν Τάρταρον ἐμβαλοῦσα ἢ αὐτὴ διασπασαμένη διαφθερῶ. πολλὰ τοιαῦτα ἠπείλησε: καὶ ὁρᾷ δὲ δριμὺ καὶ ἐπὶ τοῦ στήθους ἔχει πρόσωπόν τι φοβερὸν ἐχίδναις κατάκομον, ὅπερ ἐγὼ μάλιστα δέδια: μορμολύττεται γάρ με καὶ φεύγω, ὅταν ἴδω αὐτό.

Ἀφροδίτη

[2] ἀλλὰ τὴν μὲν Ἀθηνᾶν δέδιας, ὡς φής, καὶ τὴν Γοργόνα, καὶ ταῦτα μὴ φοβηθεὶς τὸν κεραυνὸν τοῦ Διός. αἱ δὲ Μοῦσαι διὰ τί σοι ἄτρωτοι καὶ ἔξω βελῶν εἰσιν; ἢ κἀκεῖναι λόφους ἐπισείουσι καὶ Γοργόνας προφαίνουσιν;

Ἔρως

αἰδοῦμαι αὐτάς, ὦ μῆτερ: σεμναὶ γάρ εἰσι καὶ ἀεί τι φροντίζουσι καὶ περὶ ᾠδὴν ἔχουσι καὶ ἐγὼ παρίσταμαι πολλάκις αὐταῖς κηλούμενος ὑπὸ τοῦ μέλους.

Ἀφροδίτη

ἔα καὶ ταύτας, ὅτι σεμναί: τὴν δὲ Ἄρτεμιν τίνος ἕνεκα οὐ τιτρώσκεις;

Ἔρως

τὸ μὲν ὅλον οὐδὲ καταλαβεῖν αὐτὴν οἷόν τε φεύγουσαν ἀεὶ διὰ τῶν ὀρῶν: εἶτα καὶ ἴδιόν τινα ἔρωτα ἤδη ἐρᾷ.

Ἀφροδίτη

τίνος, ὦ τέκνον;

Ἔρως

θήρας καὶ ἐλάφων καὶ νεβρῶν, αἱρεῖν τε διώκουσα καὶ κατατοξεύειν, καὶ ὅλως πρὸς τῷ τοιούτῳ ἐστίν: ἐπεὶ τόν γε ἀδελφὸν αὐτῆς, καίτοι τοξότην καὶ αὐτὸν ὄντα καὶ ἑκηβόλον —

Ἀφροδίτη

οἶδα, ὦ τέκνον, πολλὰ ἐκεῖνον ἐτόξευσας.

--Lucian, Diologi Deorum XIX; Translated into Latin by Erasino Roterdamo (1546) 

Venus: Cupid, why have you stalked & conquered all of the other gods—Jupiter, Neptune, Apollo, Juno—and even me, your own mother!—but you hold off from attacking Minerva? Your torch holds no power over her, your quiver is empty of love-darts for her. You don’t even carry your bow around her, you don’t even know how to aim?

 

Cupid: I’m afraid of her, mother! She is frightening! She has a ferocious scowl, and a manly intensity. Whenever I aim my bow at her, the rustling of her helmet’s crest terrifies me, and then my hands shake so much I drop my weapons.

 

Venus: But isn’t Mars more frightening to you than her? You were able to overpower him.

 

Cupid:  Yeah, but he likes me, and welcomes me to his side. Minerva always gives me an angry frown. One time, I rashly rushed her, brandishing my torch; but as soon as I approached her, she yelled at me, “I swear by my father Jupiter, I’ll either stab you with my spear, or grab you by your foot and toss you into Tartarus, or pluck your feathers off myself.” She threatened me with even more threats like this. She watches me with a discerning gaze. And finally, she carries that fear-inspiring Gorgon face on her chest [her Aegis], with its snaky-hair. I’m incredibly afraid of her. Every time I see her, I run.

 

Venus: Ok, I get it: you’re afraid of Minerva, and her Aegis, too. But yet you’re not afraid of Jupiter’s Lightning Bolt? And why don’t you go after the Muses? Why are they safe from your love darts? Do they shake their helmet crests at you, or show you their own aegis?

 

Cupid: Mom, I respect them. They’re demure and chaste. And they love what they do: their hearts are full of their art, and I get enchanted by their alluring songs.

 

Venus: Ok, I get it. You don’t go after them, because of their dedication to their art. But what about Diana? Why don’t you go after her?

 

Cupid: Well, to put it succinctly, I can’t go after her, because she’s always wandering over the mountains. She’s lovestruck by a desire [pun on Cupid’s name] of her own.

 

Venus: OOOH! WHO?!!!!

 

Cupid:   She’s lovestruck by hunting deer: tracking them and shooting them. That’s her one and only love. But her brother [Apollo], an archer too (and not half bad!). he…

 

Venus: Yes, I know, son. You’ve wounded him a bunch of times with your love darts.

LUCIAN	MAP:
Name:  Lucianus Samosatensis Date:  125 – 180 CE Works: Dialogue of the Courtesans*                True History, etc.	REGION  4
BIO:	Timeline:
Lucian was a Turkish-born Roman satirist who wrote in ancient Greek. His works are a mixture of sarcasm, wit, and biting social criticism. He is without a doubt one of the most popular authors of the later Roman empire.	ROMAN GREECE