What NOT To Ask A Trans Person: Menippus and Tiresias, Lucian, dialogi mortuorum 28

What NOT To Ask A Trans Person: An Interview with Tiresias

Name: Lucian Date: 125 – 180 CE Region: [modern Turkey] Citation:  Dialogues of the Dead 28.1.-2

Menippus and Tiresias meet in the Underworld:

MENIPPUS: Tiresias, are you still blind? I can’t tell anymore. [As skeletons,] none of us have eyes, only empty eye sockets. Here, you can’t tell whether this guy’s Phineas, or that guy’s Lynceus. I remember hearing from the epic poets that you were the only prophet who was both a man and a woman. By the gods, please tell me which lifestyle was better, being a man or being a woman?

TIRESIAS: Being a woman was less stressful by far. Women control men, but they don’t have to go to war, and they don’t have to defend their country, and they don’t have to take part in government or participate in court.

MENIPPUS: But didn’t you hear about Euripides’ Medea, where she complains about the troubles of being a woman, and how hard it was to give birth? OOOH! But speaking of Medea—when you were a woman, were you barren?

TIRESIAS: WHAT ARE YOU ASKING, MENIPPUS?

MENIPPUS: Oh, it’s not a hard question, Tiresias, so answer me. It’s easy.

TIRESIAS: I didn’t give birth, but I wasn’t barren.

MENIPPUS: Cool, cool. I just wanted to know if you had lady parts...

TIRESIAS: I don’t understand how that’s any of your business.

Μένιππος καὶ Τειρεσίας. Μένιππος: ὦ Τειρεσία, εἰ μὲν καὶ τυφλὸς εἶ, οὐκέτι διαγνῶναι ῥᾴδιον: ἅπασι γὰρ ἡμῖν ὁμοίως τὰ ὄμματα κενά, μόνον δὲ αἱ χῶραι αὐτῶν: τὰ δ᾽ ἄλλα οὐκέτ᾽ ἂν εἰπεῖν ἔχοις, τίς ὁ Φινεὺς ἦν ἢ τίς ὁ Λυγκεύς. ὅτι μέντοι μάντις ἦσθα καὶ ὅτι ἀμφότερα ἐγένου μόνος καὶ ἀνὴρ καὶ γυνή, τῶν ποιητῶν ἀκούσας οἶδα. πρὸς τῶν θεῶν τοιγαροῦν εἰπέ μοι, ὁποτέρου ἐπειράθης ἡδίονος τῶν βίων, ὁπότε ἀνὴρ ἦσθα, ἢ ὁ γυναικεῖος ἀμείνων ἦν; Τειρεσίας: παρὰ πολύ, ὦ Μένιππε, ὁ γυναικεῖος: ἀπραγμονέστερος γὰρ. καὶ δεσπόζουσι τῶν ἀνδρῶν αι γυναῖκες, καὶ οὔτε πολεμεῖν ἀνάγκη αὐταῖς οὔτε παρ᾽ ἔπαλξιν ἑστάναι οὔτ᾽ ἐν ἐκκλησίᾳ διαφέρεσθαι οὔτ᾽ ἐν δικαστηρίοις ἐξετάζεσθαι.

MENIPPUS: Tiresia, caecusne sis, non amplius dignoscere facile: cunctis enim nobis perinde oculi sunt vacui: solum restant oculorum cava loca. Ceterum dicere nequeas, uter Phineus sit, an Lynceus. Iam vatem fuisse, & utrumque te solum, marem ac feminam, ex poetis audivisse memini. Per Deos itaque te obtestor, expone mihi, utrum expertus fueris suavius vitae genus, cum mas fores, an femina? TIRESIAS: Potior erat magno intervallo, Menippe, vita feminini sexus, quippe magis negotiorum expers: tum dominantur in viros mulieres, neque eas bello vacare necesse est, neque ad murorum pinnas stantes excubare, neque in contionibus altercari, neque in iudiciis versari.

Μ: οὐ γὰρ ἀκήκοας, ὦ Τειρεσία, τῆς Εὐριπίδου Μηδείας, οἷα εἶπεν οἰκτείρουσα τὸ γυναικεῖον, ὡς ἀθλίας οὔσας καὶ ἀφόρητόν τινα τὸν ἐκ τῶν ὠδίνων πόνον ὑφισταμένας; ἀτὰρ εἰπέ μοι, — ὑπέμνησε γάρ με τὰ τῆς Μηδείας ἰαμβεῖα — καὶ ἔτεκές ποτε, ὁπότε γυνὴ ἦσθα, ἢ στεῖρα καὶ ἄγονος διετέλεσας ἐν ἐκείνῳ τῷ βίῳ; Τ: τί τοῦτο, Μένιππε, ἐρωτᾷς; Μ: οὐδὲν χαλεπόν, ὦ Τειρεσία: πλὴν ἀπόκρίναι, εἴ σοι ῥᾴδιον. Τ: οὐ στεῖρα μὲν ἤμην, οὐκ ἔτεκον δ᾽ ὅλως. Μ: ἱκανὸν τοῦτο: εἰ γὰρ καὶ μήτραν εἶχες, ἐβουλόμην εἰδέναι...[1] Τ: οὐχ ὁρῶ τί σοι βούλεται τὸ ἐρώτημα...

M: Non tu audivisti, Tiresia, Euripidae Medeam, qualia dixerit deplorans muliebrem secus, tanquam miseras, atque intolerandum ex puerperiis dolorem sustinentes. Verum dic mihi (nam admonuerunt me isti Medeae iambi) peperistine aliquando, cum mulier eras, an sterilis & partus expers digisti in illo vitae statu? T: Quid illud, Menippe, rogitas? M: Nihil explicatu difficile, Tiresia: quin responde, si tibi promptum. T: Haud sterilis eram, neque tamen peperi. M: Satis est: nimirum an matricem habuisses, volebam scire... T: Non video, quid tibi velit quaesitum illud:  Translated into Latin by Tiberius Hemsterhuis and  Johan Frederik Reitz

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[1] In the text, Menippus continues with even more graphic questions, which Tiresias continues to ignore

Lucian [Lucianus Samosatensis; 125 – 180 CE, modern Turkey] was a Roman satirist from Samosata [modern Turkey] who wrote in ancient Greek. His works are a mixture of sarcasm, wit, and biting social criticism. He is without a doubt one of the most popular authors of the later Roman empire.